how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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