i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize