I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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