you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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