just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
