My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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