gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
