Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
