i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
