Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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