Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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