the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He better not be in your backpack
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
