I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
