oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
