Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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