I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
