Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got inside last night via doggy door
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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