I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize