called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
