He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
