I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
