shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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