I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Someone shit on the floor
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
