Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
