Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
