Buhtt sex?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i drank out of a bidet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
