i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
