The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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