i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
