I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
