nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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