why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
