Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
