she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
