Pregnant stripper...not hot.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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