Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
