we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
