Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
