Dual....:-)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
