3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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