Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
