Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
