I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
