Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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