well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She's the barista slut.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
