He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
50% drunk capacity currently
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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