If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
