My sheets look like a crime scene.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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