that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
