ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
