Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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