I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
