You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You don't make any sense
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