Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
