You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
