Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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