I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
