he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this will be a night to untag.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
