Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
