He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
