If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize