Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
