I love black thongs
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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